


Trust

by daftalchemist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Can it be a thing?, Denial of Feelings, I seriously can't think of tags for this, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, No happy endings, One Shot, PWP, Purgatory, Sloppy Makeouts, There's A Tag For That, Vampire self control kink?, is that a thing?, slight bloodplay, very slight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 03:45:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftalchemist/pseuds/daftalchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean can't sleep while fighting for his life in Purgatory. Benny finds a way to fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't planning on writing any Supernatural fic anytime soon, and then this thing came screaming into my head in the middle of a shower, and I knew if I didn't write it RIGHT THEN that I would lose it forever, and now I'm writing fic for Supernatural too. Wtf, brain?
> 
> Beta'd by f1rstperson because she's lovely and wonderful and keeps my attempt at different narrative styles polished and nice.

A few frantic minutes against the trunk of a tree is all it ever takes. Dean is taken completely by surprise, shocked at how fast he can reach completion without all the muss and fuss of foreplay. Spending half an hour connecting with someone, the warmth of another person's touch slowly building the excitement, had always seemed so necessary, but that was back in the cushy confines of planet Earth. This was Purgatory, and here all the usual pleasantries of foreplay could be stampeded through with the constant adrenaline high that was practically required to survive.

Maybe it's the shock of being thrown into the fight of his life, or the slap in the face Cas provides by leaving his ass to die, or the classic camaraderie that comes from fighting side-by-side with someone, but Dean finds himself drawn more and more towards Benny and the shaky companionship they have, and the prospect of being with a vampire seems less and less fucking stupid with each passing day. And there's a lot of days.

It's that look of longing Dean so often catches out of the corner of his eye. It's deep and primal—weirdly enticing—and he stubbornly chooses to ignore what it really is: hunger. Dean isn't delusional. He knows he can't trust Benny. This is a world of monsters, and he knows better than to skip through it arm-in-arm with one of the pack. Wild animals are called 'wild' for a reason. But this isn't about trust; it's about co-dependence. As much as he tries to ignore it, he needs Benny, and Benny sure as shit needs him. Dean just doesn't realize how deep that need could run.

It happens in the small hours of the morning—or whatever passes as 'morning' in this eternity—when exhaustion overtakes Dean, but sleep refuses to come. The danger is too close, including the danger of sleeping while a vampire watches over him. What they do is innocent at first, if it can ever be called that. Benny just wants to help, you know. He knows Dean need his rest to keep going, to keep fighting. He tells Dean he cares, he calls him 'brother', Dean almost believes it. He whimpers Cas' name as he comes in Benny's hand, ignoring the look of disappointment on the vampire's face, drifting off into a restless two hour sleep that still somehow manages to feel blissfully restful. The fight continues.

Dean tries to avoid it, fights just as hard to rest as he does to stay alive, but it's never enough. And Benny, he's just there being understanding, being supportive, just wanting to help, Dean, because that's what brothers do for each other. Dean can't deny that he wants it, that he's going insane without the closeness to another person. His entire life he lived in close quarters with people he cared about: Sam, Bobby, Cas. Dean grips the back of Benny's neck and pulls him closer, writhing in the vampire's lap, ignoring all of his hunter's instincts by letting a bloodsucker get its mouth that close to him. He needs this; he can't ignore it. He sleeps more peacefully afterward, despite being propped up against a tree, and discovers two decapitated corpses at his feet when he wakes three hours later. Benny doesn't say anything, and neither does Dean.

They pick up on Cas' trail easily enough. Seems angels are big game in Purgatory. Dean makes it his mission to find him, and pretends he doesn't notice the look of dejection Benny takes to wearing. He couldn't possibly think Dean would keep this up, that he would stay with him even after they got out. Dean's a hunter, Benny's a vampire, and this isn't some trashy romance novel. This is real, and it's scary, and it's probably going to get them killed, and it's the best they can do for now.

Benny stops offering to help Dean fall asleep on the angel's trail. Dean doesn't bring it up himself, determined to prove he doesn't need Benny as much as Benny would like him to. He fails. He berates himself inwardly as he pulls the vampire against him, back braced against yet another tree trunk so at least one line of defense is covered. His beard feels rough against Dean's face as Dean presses their lips together, probes into the vampire's mouth with his tongue, ignores the slight protrusion of extra teeth that Benny so obviously tries to hold back but fails. He pushes Dean away, holding him out at arm's length, asks him 'why'. Dean doesn't know exactly what he's being asked. Why does he let years of experience and vampire killing go by the wayside when a lull in the fighting comes? Why is it that even now, even as he chases down the man—or rather, angel—that he was so certain he loved, he keeps finding himself in the arms of a monster? Why is he so determined to find Cas at the detriment to his relationship with Benny? There's no answers to give. He pulls Benny in again, and this time Benny kisses back, deeply, frantically. Dean wonders if even the monsters of the world just wanted to feel connected to something, a thought he quickly shoves aside, hoping it won't spring up once he's back home and hunting again.

Benny's body pressed against his feels more right than it should. Benny is rough and solid, his weight pressing Dean against the tree grounding him in the reality of what he's doing, what he can never tell anyone he's done, not even Sammy. Benny's kiss is firm yet greedy, almost bordering on ferocious at times, but Dean ignores that, forcing away every instinct he has to run, to pull a gun, to behead him. Benny breaks their lip lock and trails kisses down Dean's neck, sucking hard and nipping at the skin, all blunted teeth. Dean swallows as adrenaline overtakes him, makes him want to fight back, but lets Benny continue. He expects he'll feel pinpricks of teeth soon, and he knows won't fight it when it happens. It's this place, Purgatory. It breaks you down and shatters everything you are and were. Dean had already taken so much from Benny just to try to hold onto whatever shred of his humanity that he could; if Benny needed to take from him, he would let him.

But the sharper teeth don't come into play. Maybe Benny is able to keep his cool this close to a human being after all. Maybe he can keep himself from Hulking out and driving his teeth into someone's throat, drinking until he feels their pulse slowly fade. Or maybe the reason why he was resting his head on Dean's shoulder and panting hard was because he was forcing the teeth away. What must he think of to do that? Real food? Dead men? Baseball?

Dean hears a soft chuckle in his ear, followed by a breathy “you sure about this, brother?” in that beautiful Cajun drawl, the only soothing sound Dean's heard in what feels like an eternity already. He realizes he's on highest alert; his entire body stiff, breathing slow and shallow. It takes effort and Benny not resting against his shoulder anymore to force himself calm, but he can see in the vampire's eyes that Benny doesn't believe him when Dean says that he's fine. Benny sighs, makes to stand up and leave Dean alone, but Dean reaches out desperately, fast like the crack of a whip, and pulls him closer again. Benny's face shows the hurt he feels, mixed with the kind of bored expression you give someone young and inexperienced who's trying to impress you by doing something completely stupid. The kind of expression that says “you'll have to try a lot harder than that to convince me you know what you're doing”, which Dean as a challenge.

It's unfamiliar territory. For all his knowledge about how vampires are made, how they live, how they die, Dean has no idea if normal human functions still work for them. He finds out when he unbuttons Benny's dirt-covered slacks and hesitantly slides his hand into them, feeling Benny's cock twitch against his palm and eliciting a hiss and a drawled out “Dean”, dripping so heavily with desire that Dean's own erection twitches and aches. He forces away thoughts of Benny being like this all those nights he helped Dean fall asleep, compels himself not to think about Benny standing watch while Dean slept, hard and full of want. Dean doesn't care if the only reason Benny finds him so alluring is the blood pumping through his veins, it's the best he can get for now and he fucking takes it.

The calm that washes over Benny's face is, oddly enough, the most seductive thing Dean has ever seen. Because of where he is, dealing with the constant threat of death, being alive is tense and uncomfortable to the point that the strongest person, or monster, is shattered until nothing remains. Calm is something not experienced in Purgatory, which elevates it to seduction status, if the desire burning through Dean's body is any indication. Dean pulls Benny's lips against his own again as he sets a steady rhythm, slowly pumping Benny's dick, rubbing his thumb over the head. Even Benny's groans somehow seem to carry some of that Cajun flair, and it makes Dean's heart pound against his ribs, his cock strain against his pants. Maybe Benny can hear Dean's pulse quicken, or maybe he just knows Dean needs him to reciprocate, but either way, his calloused hand drawing Dean's cock out of his fly has him bucking up into Benny's grasp and pushing his tongue deeper into Benny's mouth. There's a quick flash of pain and a hand against his chest, forcing him back against the tree trunk, and that's all it takes to let Dean know that Benny's fangs have come out again, unbidden by the look of guilt plastered on his face. “Don't”, he warns, voice husky with desire, yet strained from the effort to control himself. Dean nods, understanding that keeping himself away from the reach of Benny's bite is the only thing allowing this tenuous grasp on his self-control. Despite the blood trickling from his lower lip and the splash of red on the vampire's tongue, Dean finds himself trusting the creature, believing that he can be set free into the world again without worrying about needing to hunt him down a week later.

Purgatory isn't the kind of place a man can find lubrication, or even enough time to use it for sex, but spit and Benny's large hand wrapped around both their dicks is more than enough to make them feel like they've found a way into Heaven. Dean tries to let Benny set the pace, but the vampire seems to be taking his sweet time about it, savoring every moment he has with the hunter, knowing this won't last for much longer, not once they find the angel. Dean knows it too. Though he can't continue these moments with Cas, he won't be able to share them with Benny anymore either, not if he still intends to win the angel's love. Dean wishes he could slow down and relish this moment, this act that he's actually _sharing_ with Benny instead of simply _receiving_ from him, but he's felt alone for too long, and his impatience is too overwhelming. He thrusts into Benny's grip, watches as his eyes roll backwards at the sensation, doesn't worry about his safety for even a moment as Benny leans forward, bracing himself against Dean's shoulder, breathing hot against Dean's neck. It spurns Dean on, makes him thrust harder, enjoying the roughness of Benny's hand and the tightness of his grip, the moans muffled against his skin, until he feels Benny's cock pulsing, his body shaking, and his cum dripping down his palm, making everything momentarily slick. Dean knows he's reached completion by finding comfort in his company, and it's a heady experience; too much for Dean to hang on. He comes in Benny's hand one last time, whispering Benny's name into his ear.

They clean up, and Dean falls asleep. He wakes four hours later and they continue on without speaking.

They find Castiel soon after, crouching by a river. Benny can barely contain his bitterness, and Dean is thankful that Cas thinks it's because he puts them in more danger.

Dean stops sleeping as much, grabbing twenty minutes at a time now and then. He knows Benny watches him as he falls into these restless naps, sees the sadness in his eyes, knows he can't ask him for help.

They find the portal, but Dean knew they would. He knows he can trust Benny entirely.

Cas doesn't make it out; Benny does. The shock of losing Cas again is almost enough to push Dean into madness, but he hardens his emotions and pushes on, determined to help at least one person he swore to save.

Benny is thankful for Dean's help, but Dean knows it's not enough. He might be able to trust Benny, but Benny can't trust him. He takes his own path out into the world, leaving Dean alone to wonder if he had made the right choice among the trees of Purgatory.


End file.
